Blog written by Erin Jones, M.A., M.Ed., LPC
Image by Hans Bijstra, 2020

I recently had the privilege to attend a family member’s honor ceremony. He was an Air Force veteran. This was not the first National Cemetery I have had the opportunity to visit, nor the only military loved one lost in my family, but as I gazed at the headstones in view while Taps was played, I could not help but feel the weight of the lives represented there that morning. My mind drifted with so many questions. I found myself wondering about all the life stories associated with the headstones I could see from my vantage point. I thought about how many of those might have died in the line of duty, and as a mental health professional, I could not help but think about the grief and loss represented there that day. My heart sank a bit thinking about all the family members who have mourned those there.
Why do we celebrate Memorial Day? As Memorial Day approaches, and with one of my own children preparing to enter boot camp, I've been reflecting on the true significance of this day. It's not just a day off or a time for barbecues. It's a day to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. When children ask about Memorial Day, it's important to convey this gravity to help them understand the true meaning of this day. Memorial Day is more than just the long weekend we associate with the unofficial start of summer. It is a solemn occasion to pay tribute to the brave individuals who laid down their lives in defense of our nation. Their sacrifices have secured our liberties and ensured the safety and security of future generations. It is a day to remember their courage, honor their memories, and express our gratitude for their service.
A little history: Memorial Day is observed on the last Monday of May and is a day of remembrance for those who have died in military service to the United States. This holiday, steeped in history and significance, serves as a poignant reminder of the sacrifices made by countless men and women to protect the freedoms we enjoy today. Memorial Day, as we know it today, has its roots in the aftermath of the Civil War, a conflict that claimed more American lives than any other war in our history. Originally called Decoration Day, it was a time set aside for decorating the graves of those who died in the war with flowers. The first widely recognized observance of Decoration Day was on May 30, 1868, when General John A. Logan declared it a day for the nation to decorate the graves of those who died in defense of their country during the Civil War. Over time, the observance expanded to honor all American military personnel who died in service. In 1971, Memorial Day was officially declared a national holiday by an act of Congress, and its date was set as the last Monday in May, ensuring a three-day weekend for Americans.
How can we honor those who sacrificed it all? Visit a Cemetery or Memorial: Many people visit cemeteries and memorials to place flags, flowers, or other mementos on the graves of those who served. National cemeteries often host special events and ceremonies. There is something quite sobering about the sea of headstones seen at the National Cemeteries, and it is a valuable lesson to our children to honor those who gave it all. Did you know that there is a National Moment of Remembrance? At 3 p.m., whatever your local time is on Memorial Day, pause for one minute to remember and honor those who have died in military service. This collective act of remembrance unites the nation in gratitude and reflection.
Considering mental health and support: Military members and their families can carry a unique emotional burden. They can also be at a higher risk for mental health struggles, including Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, grief, loss, and even addiction. I think the most meaningful way any of us can honor those who have fallen serving our country is to support current veterans and their families. Beyond acts of kindness such as paying it forward when you see a service person behind you in line somewhere, or stopping to shake their hand and say thank you, consider donating your time, talents, or even finances to a trusted organization that supports veterans. Remember that the families of our service men and women make sacrifices as well. Taking time to thank those who serve, honor those who have fallen, and support their family members can make a significant difference in the lives of our military members and their loved ones. At Healthy Horizons, veterans and their families are honored, and a standing discount is offered to every vet. If you know a veteran who could benefit from counseling support, validate and show your appreciation for their experience. Let them know there is hope and help. Feel free to share this blog and let them know we are here for them! 
As you prepare for Memorial Day, remember that it is a day of profound significance. It offers an opportunity to remember and honor the heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation. By participating in meaningful observances, reflecting on the importance of this day, and sharing the purpose of this National holiday, we can ensure that their legacy lives on in our hearts and minds.

For more information about Erin and the services provided for our veterans and their families at Healthy Horizons, visit:  https://www.yourhealthyhorizons.com/team.html
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Blog written by Erin Jones, M.A., M.Ed., LPC 
Image by: Jenniel Roberts, 2016
​If you are the parent of a child with ADHD, you may have had a frequent flyer thought going through your mind as the end of the school year approaches, “School is almost out, and I don’t know what to do with my child who has ADHD!” If this is true, you are not alone! Adjusting to the summer months with children can be challenging. Parenting a child with ADHD can be especially overwhelming. Yet, the long-awaited summer months can also be a wonderful time filled with opportunities for fun, learning, and relaxation for the whole family.  However, for children with ADHD, the lack of structure that often comes with summer break can be challenging. Establishing a daily routine for any of your children over the summer months is important when it comes to peace, productivity, and enjoyment for the whole family. When it comes to kids with ADHD, this is especially true. Though it may sound counterintuitive, a routine based on structured flexibility can help kids feel secure and engaged throughout the summer months. Here are some tips to help you create an effective summer routine for your child with ADHD. 
    Start with a consistent wake-up and bedtime. Consistency is key for children with ADHD. Maintaining a regular wake-up and bedtime schedule helps regulate their internal clock and provides a sense of stability. When kids with ADHD experience poor sleep quality, it can exacerbate symptoms of the disorder, which can then trickle into the sense of chaos in the home.  Aim to keep wake-up and bedtime within an hour of what they were during the school year, which will also help with that adjustment back to the school year!
     Involve your child in the planning of the summer schedule. Involving your child in the planning process can give them a sense of ownership and control over their routine. Let them choose some of the activities and help create the visual schedule. This encourages responsibility and engagement. A visual schedule can be incredibly helpful for children with ADHD. Get creative with your child (kiddos with ADHD are often extremely creative!) and make a visual poster or write out a basic schedule on a whiteboard. Remember to include times for meals, activities, free play, and relaxation, being sure to leave time for spontaneous activities or melt-downtime and time for your response to those incidences. Regaining control after a meltdown will not go well if the family feels rushed to keep to a schedule. While the use of digital apps to outline the day's activities can be helpful for some parents, these methods are less helpful for kids with ADHD than a visually physical schedule because they may lose track of time and become side-tracked more easily. This visual cue helps children understand what to expect and reduces anxiety about transitions.
     Incorporate physical activity. Research has consistently suggested that physical activity is essential for children with ADHD, and it is cited as the best natural medicine for managing the symptoms of ADHD. It not only helps burn off excess energy, but it also helps stabilize mood and improve focus. Include time for outdoor play, as the lighting and fresh air impact neurological chemistry in a positive way and can improve sleep. Activities can include sports, swimming, or even a family walk or hike. Aim for at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day.
     Balance structured and unstructured time. While structure is important, it's also beneficial to allow for some unstructured time, so, allow for flexibility. Yes, having a routine is important, but it's also essential to be flexible. Summer is a time for fun and spontaneity, so be open to changes in the schedule for special events or outings. Flexibility within a structured routine helps children with ADHD adapt to new situations. This means structured flexibility, and if you are the parent of a child with ADHD, you know that rigidity is not your friend. This helps children develop creativity and independence. Balance structured activities like reading or craft projects with unstructured playtime where your child can choose their own activities. This also means that you'll need to plan for downtime. Children with ADHD can easily become overstimulated, often leading to undesirable behaviors, so it's important to include downtime in their routine. This could be a quiet time in their room, reading, listening to calming music, or practicing mindfulness exercises. Downtime helps them and you, the parent, recharge and prevent burnout.
     Set clear expectations and rules. At the risk of sounding cliché here, keep it simple. Having clear expectations and rules helps children with ADHD understand what is expected of them. Avoid sounding off instructions in a long string of to-do lists. Children with ADHD will not remember the list if it is too long. Two steps at a time, no more than three, will help your child succeed. Be specific about what needs to be done and what the consequences will be if rules are not followed. Consistency and clear communication are key.
     Include academic activities. It is important to keep your child’s mind active during the summer. Include time for reading, educational games, or fun learning activities that align with your child's interests. This helps maintain academic skills and makes the transition back to school easier. Try engaging in lessons around gardening, your family pets, the impact of sports and physical activities on the body, or even the history around any of your vacation activities. This will likely be more engaging to your child as it will provide a visual, and hands-on approach!
          Embrace play and silliness! Laughter is good medicine whether one has ADHD or not. Not only does it lift the soul, balance emotions, and create lasting bonds, it actually has an impact on the brain. Being playful and silly with your children models how to let go and connect with others. This can be especially true for kids with ADHD because they can often encounter criticism, reprimand, and feedback from peers that can lead to anxiety and impact self-esteem. I promise, it will not only bring a sense of release from the pressures that accompany ADHD for your children, but you, too, will feel pretty good as a result!
     Incorporate creative activities. People with ADHD are notorious for being creative. Creative activities like arts and crafts, music, or building projects can help improve focus and provide a productive outlet for energy. Encourage your child to explore different hobbies and interests.
Use positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement can motivate children with ADHD to follow the routine. Praise and reward your child for sticking to the schedule and completing tasks. This builds confidence and reinforces good behavior. For kids with ADHD, reinforcement and feedback, whether positive or consequential, should be as immediate as possible. Also, avoid rescuing your child when he or she does not meet expectations or engages in inappropriate behaviors. Positive reinforcement does not mean your child will never face consequences related to their behavior.
     By establishing a structured but flexible routine, you can help your child with ADHD have a fun, productive, and stress-free summer. According to research, children with ADHD are more likely to have at least one parent with the disorder and parents with kids who have ADHD are more likely to report distress and a sense of chaos in the home. Whether or not you, the parent, also have ADHD or not, or you find your home chaotic or relatively peaceful,  the tips outlined here will help the whole family have a more pleasant and predictable summer. When there is flexible predictability and clear communication, you will find those summer months to be a lot more enjoyable for the whole family. Remember, the goal is to provide a balanced mix of activities and downtime that will keep your children engaged, active, relaxed, and happy. 
     If you'd like to learn more about parenting kids with ADHD, watch for my new book soon to be released: "Parenting Kids with ADHD: Strategies for Reducing Stress and Fostering Your Child’s Success (Especially on Those ‘Tried Everything’ Days!)." 

For more information about Erin and the services provided related to ADHD and parenting at Healthy Horizons, visit:  https://www.yourhealthyhorizons.com/team.html